by Gail Gaymer Martin

© 2000Gail Gaymer Martin

And the secrets of his heart will be laid bare.

1 Corinthians 14:25

When social worker, Kate Davis agreed to share a house with co-worker, she didn’t know she would end up sharing her friend’s brother, Doctor Scott Ryan. Kate is captivated by his friendly warmth and open concern for people. Yet as their lives intertwine, a dark secret stands in her way of a long term relationship. While Scott struggles with his own past, he senses Kate’s growing reserve. And when Kate learns that someone from her past is searching for her, the situation only worsens.

Kate Davis, thirty-four, grew up in a Christian home with loving parents. She longed to be popular like her attractive older sister. Misguided by her longing, she was deceived by a popular boy, and her young life was devastated when she learned she was pregnant from her one sexual encounter. Sent away to a home for unwed mothers by her horrified parents, Kate gave birth to a daughter who was placed for adoption. Finishing high school, Kate was compelled to help hurting children and became a social worker, anything to make retribution for her sin. Though saddened by her past, Kate looks for the positive in all things.

Scott Ryan was an adopted child, raised by an affluent, Christian family who gave him love, confidence, and to their surprise, a baby-sister conceived after his adoption. In college, Ryan studied biology, but entering his master’s program, he realized his true calling was to be a doctor and switched his major to medicine. Now at thirty-two, Scott is completing his residency at County General Hospital. Though appreciative and filled with familial love, Scott harbors a deep sense of abandonment and has the hidden desire to find his birth parents and to understand why he was given up for adoption. Though warm and genial, Scott struggles with the serious side of his personality that focuses on the negative aspects of life.

Kate Davis hears a piercing scream and, thinking the worst, darts to her friend’s aid only to find Phyllis Ryan welcoming her brother at their front door. Doctor Scott Ryan has returned to the Detroit area to do his residency at a local hospital. Without an apartment, Phyllis suggests he stay with them until he finds his own place. Always helpful, Kate agrees.

Though she likes most things about Scott, Kate is troubled by the negative memories he evokes, dredging up the sorrow and guilt of her troubled teen years. With her past serving as a career catalyst, Kate works as a social worker at Children’s Haven, located in a northern Detroit suburb. Daily, she interacts with hurting children and is driven to making their lives better. Her work is the one place Kate feels she is in control.

As a physician, Scott, too, has compassion for human well-being and believes he is doing God’s will to make life better. But as well, he is driven by his personal desire to be independent and to succeed, a gift he wants to return to his adoptive parents for their love and support.

Scott is intrigued by Kate’s paradoxical, upbeat, yet cautious, personality, and he enjoys her company as she helps him search for an apartment. But Scott has avoided forming romantic relationships. His conscious reasons are his devotion to his career and the rigors of medical school. But subconsciously, Scott is scared by a college romance that left him embarrassed and uncomfortable with his staunch feelings of chastity. Pulling himself from his time-consuming studies, Scott dated a young woman, opening his heart to his belief of chastity until marriage and knowing his conviction was uncommon compared to many of his cohorts. When he learned that she had deceived him and was pregnant, he felt betrayed and believed that he would be scorned for his conviction by most modern-day women. Instead of taking a chance, he turns his energies to his career.

But God has other plans. While Scott spends time with his sister, he is also in Kate’s company. Thinking of her as a friend, he is relaxed and enjoys Kate’s dedication and good humor. Without guarding his heart, Kate gets under his skin.

When six-year old Amber arrives at Children’s Haven, Kate struggles to keep her personal feelings in line. The child’s physical characteristics trigger thoughts of her own daughter, adopted at birth many years earlier. Except her family, Kate has never talked with anyone about this sad and horrible experience. Her parents, living in Florida, and her sister in New York plucked at her guilt and shame, but with them away from Michigan, Kate has been able to keep her secret and emotions buried. Now Amber drags them out of hiding.

When Scott asks Kate to help him hunt for an apartment, she is busy with a church activity called HELP (Helping the Elderly Live Proudly). On a lark, he joins her and enjoys spending the day and evening with Kate.

Ashamed of her past, Kate has steered clear of male companionship, but her unbidden feelings grow toward Scott. She is no longer a virgin, and Scott has expressed his attitude about the importance of chastity before marriage. Kate longs for a man that she cares about as much as Scott, who will understand and forgive her sin.

During a conversation with Scott and Phyllis, Kate is startled to learn that he is adopted and his sister has never mentioned it. Scott and Phyllis have a closer, warmer friendship than she and her birth-sister have ever had. With their strong Christian upbringing, she could never confess her shame to Scott or Phyllis. And if she told Scott the truth, she believes he would never respect her, let alone love her. Kate’s blossoming feelings can never flower into a permanent relationship.

But providence brings them together even more when Scott is sent to Children’s Haven to work temporarily. Scott admires Kate’s energy and devotion to the children and senses that his choice of family practice is a good one. When Amber comes down with measles, Scott notices a sizeable burn scar on her back. He finds no explanation in her medical records and shares the information with Kate.

As they discuss the plight of children at the center, Kate longs to tell Scott of her deep-seeded hurt as a parent placing a child for adoption, but she fears his disdain and rejection. Kate finds herself in a dilemma – to avoid the truth or chance losing Scott – and seeks God’s counsel.

While Scott continues to volunteer in the HELP program, he admirers Kate’s interaction with the elderly and her giving without expectations, an experience he has never had. His giving to others has always been accompanied by an awareness of his growing success. But in time, he learns from the seniors’ wisdom and finds their joy contagious. Through their family stories and counsel, he comes to understand the importance of human relationships — especially a Christian marriage and children. Also while working at one senior’s home, Scott recognizes a serious health problem of an elderly woman and is instrumental in saving her life.

Concerned for Amber, Kate takes action and makes an unapproved visit to the gravely ill grandmother in County General. Unable to communicate with the comatose woman, she witnesses severe burn scars on the woman’s hand and arm. Realizing the same fire might have caused Ambers burns, she asks Scott to help her learn the facts, thinking it might reveal important information about Amber. But he refuses to seek information regarding a case in which he is not involved. His career is too important to push aside proper medical protocol.

Despite their personal struggles, Kate and Scott know their hearts are not following their heads. When Thanksgiving nears, Scott invites Kate to attend Thanksgiving Eve harvest celebration and share his family’s holiday meal. Though she has known his parents through Phyllis, this year it is Scott who invites her, not Phyllis, and this raises uncomfortable questions. Is she being invited as a friend or as a potential wife?

Cornered without an adequate excuse to refuse, Kate accepts his invitation, although it heightens her fears. Scott, younger than Kate, is independent, successful, and a Christian with strong moral values. She feels inadequate and undeserving of him. But as the day progresses, the experience proves pleasant, and Kate enjoys his family, though their warm, loving relationship pokes at her envy.

Released from Children’s Haven, Scott’s newest assignment is to provide medical treatment at Madonna House, a Christian home for unwed mothers. At Christmas, he is invited to a holiday party at this facility. Wanting to show support to the young women, he asks Kate to accompany him, having no idea Kate once resided in the facility. She is disconcerted.

Asking God for help, Kate forces herself to attend, but is overwrought with memories. When they leave, Scott’s comment about the importance of being chaste sends Kate reeling and validates her belief that nothing can ever come from their friendship. But her attachment to him keeps her from ending their relationship.

During the Christmas holidays, Scott observes Kate’s visiting parents and sister. He senses tension and lack of warmth in their relationship. As well, Kate’s sister, a glamorous divorcee, flirts with him, and Scott senses Kate’s parents’ disapproval of both her sister’s behavior and her divorce. He wonders why Kate arouses similar criticism from them. The incident provides insight into Kate’s wavering feelings of self-worth.

Embarrassed at her family’s behavior, Kate is sure Scott will question their innuendos, and her sister’s obvious flirtation triggers her childhood feelings of inadequacy.

When Scott questions Kate, she offers evasive answers. He seeks the Lord’s guidance on how to proceed with his growing love. Visiting one of the elderly, Scott seeks her counsel. When he leaves, he is confident that Kate loves him, having stuck by his side despite her apprehension. Testing the waters, Scott hints to Kate of his desire for commitment.

Recognizing Scott is about to propose marriage, Kate does all she can to discourage him, short of ending their relationship. She prays she can resolve her anxiety.

Adding to Kate’s stress, Amber’s grandmother dies, and Kate learns the girl will be placed in a foster home. With Kate’s personal investigation, she has learned that Amber’s family died in a house fire and since then, she has helped the child rid herself of most of her nightmares and fears. Kate longs to take Amber into her home. When Kate tells Scott, he dissuades her, reminding her of the difficultly of being a single, working woman. But Kate hears God’s Word: "Whoever welcomes one of these little children welcomes me." The responsibility would be difficult, but she yearns for the motherhood she has been deprived.

Struggling with her decisions about Amber, she recalls her birth child and believes Amber is God’s blessing, a visual sign of the Lord’s forgiveness of her sin. Yet, she continues to keep her secret from Scott and grapples with her dishonesty.

Realizing that a successful career does not guarantee a happy, fulfilled life, Scott faces his emptiness and proposes to Kate, but is startled by her hesitation. Her rejection shakes his faith in romance and in their relationship. Confused, Scott clings to God’s guidance and is determined to learn the unknown factor that stands in their way.

When Kate and Scott talk, he solicits his plan that she could more easily be a foster parent to Amber if she were married. He suggests that Kate become his wife and that whatever she fears about their relationship will pass with time.

Amazed at his devotion and ashamed of her avoidance, Kate finally releases her secret and tells him about her parent’s shame, her anguish at Madonna House, and the devastation of placing her child for adoption. With her revelation, she fears that their relationship will end. And it does. Startled and confused, Scott leaves, and Kate is left behind, miserable and saddened that she had trusted him and he let her down..

When Scott storms off, he is hurt that Kate did not have enough faith in him to confide her secret earlier. But when he reviews his attitude, he is ashamed of his anger, realizing his comments may have motivated Kate’s silence.

Days pass, and Phyllis tries to comfort Kate, but to no avail. Only the news that Amber will be placed with her in foster-care gives Kate shadowed joy, gaining Amber, but losing Scott. She takes a step backward with the new situation.

But one day, the telephone rings and Scott, filled with sorrow, asks to see her. Though Kate wants to refuse, her heart and God prod her to agree. Scott asks Kate’s forgiveness and tells her his life will only be whole and complete with her at his side. She expresses her love for him and asks his forgiveness for hiding the truth. With a new understanding and shared forgiveness, he proposes again, and this time, Kate accepts.

Ten Months Later: Scott stands in the front of the church his heart filled with love for Kate and affection for Amber who is dropping rose petals down the white runner. As his gaze sweeps the faces of family and friends, he smiles at his loving, adoptive parents.

With joy and sense of wholeness, Kate beams as Amber proceeds her down the aisle. God has given her the opportunity to mother the little girl, and in that gift, Kate finds forgiveness and healing. As her gaze locks with Scott’s, she offers thanks that God impelled her to release the secret of her heart and offered her peaceful assurance that her daughter has been raised by a loving Christian family. At the altar, Kate and Scott join hands and hearts as they gaze toward Amber, soon to be their adopted daughter.

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