Writing the Romance with Cynth Joy

Poetic Elements in Fiction

August 21, 1999

*******Welcome to Inspired Love *********

Our guest tonight is Gail Martin

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Tirtsah: Gail is going to address the topic of "Poetry Doesn't stop there"

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Tirtsah: But first lets open w/prayer.Heavenly father, we praise your name for brining us together tonight to learn how to become better writers for your good. Please bless Gail's words to each one of us. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen

Tirtsah: Now, Gail, please tell us a little bit about yourself before we start with our topic.

MartinGA: Okay - I'm multipublished in worship resource materials (12books)numerous articles and short stories, and then God blessed me with my dream -- published novels. I have two published novels with Heartsong Presents -- SEASONS and DREAMING OF CASTLES released this May. I have just been given a contract by Steeple Hill (Harlequin) for their Love Inspired line for my novel UPON A MIDNIGHT CLEAR released next fall. 2000

MartinGA: I'm not talking about poetry in novels -- but poetic elements - - things that use poetic language to enhance our wiritng.Poetic language is a combination of the various elements of figures of speech along with a musical flow of the word sounds. Beautiful language is like a wonderful melody. But -- and this is important -- poetic elements should not be overused -- and they should not be old cliches.Who ever heard of a new cliche? Well, anyway, use them with caution or they will destroy the wonderful effect you are trying to create. So what are these elements ?—

MartinGA: Personification, onomatopoeia, alliteration, assonance, smiles and metaphors. And how do you use them -- mainly in description. We're to make our writing active -- lively and moving and these elements can do that. First - personification this is giving human attributes to inanimate things -- for example "The moon danced on the water."The moon doesn't dance - so you see it now has a human attribute. Another - The tree's fingers grasped at the clouds. No explanation needed - but do you see the visual picture it creates?

MartinGA: Let's tackle onomatopoeia - and you get a prize if you can spell it. <<GG>>That is a word that sounds like the word it describes for example: smacked, clanged, and The snake hissed as it passed. Hear the sssssss sound. Alliteration and assonance are similar - alliteration is the repetition of consonant sounds - assonance is the rept. of vowels. Say a "t" out loud to yourself - not the tee but the sound. Do you hear that it is a hard sound. Try a P or an K or Q These are hard sounds and are good when you're trying to create excitement or tension, The sudden sharp snap startled her. But Ls and Ms are soft - The lilting lullaby lulled the lad to sleep. You can overdo it as you can see!!! <<GG>> Or Muted melodies moved through her mind.

MartinGA: But notice the word pictures that are created. Now let's move onto the ones that are most useful in writing - similes and metaphors. These are both comparisons - comparing one thing with something else. Simile uses "like" or "as" and a metaphor only suggests comparison.

MartinGA: Examples - His heart thudded like a jackhammer From my novel that will be out next year - Then the black dreams rose like demons.Here's one that uses both personification and simile. In the brisk wind, leaves drifted from the trees and pirouetted along the ground like ballerinas. Do I have to ask what makes it personification? Metaphors are more subtle. Frozen with the frightful possibility, Jordan faltered, spitting the words from the dump-yard of his mind.

MartinGA: This is a line from my newest novel Kite Flyer. You also see my use of alliteration. This is a line from Upon a Midnight Clear - combining both a simile and metaphor. What could she do to help this child, now bound in a cocoon, to blossom like a lovely butterfly? These phrases create wonderful word pictures - yet truly express the problem of the child. Bound tightly in her own world - and needing to be released.

MartinGA: Extended metaphors are exciting and I use those a lot. This means that a theme idea runs throughout a few paragraphs. Now I have a couple of activities we can do, but I'd like to open this for questions.

Tirtsah: Wow! Great stuff to think about!

Tirtsah: Does anyone have any questions for Gail?

MartinGA: I hope I didn't overwhelm you.

Tirtsah: not at all.......just got the juices flowing.

JansEMail: no, it's just so interesting! Opens up a lot of possibilities in writing!

Cynth Joy: yes

MartinGA: Let's look at this. We all know the phrase white as a sheet, right? Or white as the snow. Or white as milk. But we don't want to use that kind of simile. We want them to be original - something different. In some reader mail I just received, I was complimented by a woman for my original similes. I was very pleased. They take work. So who can think of something original for White as - - - -? Everyone pitch in ideas.

JansEMail: White as the vanilla ice cream of a Dove bar.

SALLYLAITY: J & J Baby Powder ... hee hee

MartinGA: Great! Good. More?

MartinGA: White as summer clouds -

Tirtsah: hmmm......thinking.

MartinGA: White as a pristine rosebud

JansEMail: white as her grandma's starched battenburg lace.

MartinGA: Wonderful! Those are great. That's what you want to do in your writing.

Tirtsah: ........fresh cream on strawberries.

MartinGA: Yummy

JansEMail: I want whipped cream...and I want it now! :)

MartinGA: Those beautiful phrases create your unique writing voice. Yess!!!!!

MartinGA: This type of writing appeals to editors if it's not overworked. You can't do it every word or paragraph but you can find those unique special moments when it will work.

Sandie129: White as the picket fence that surrounded their dream.

MartinGA: I like that!

MartinGA: And the more you do, the easier it gets.

MartinGA: Okay - red as a rose, red as blood. Red as? Any ideas?

Tirtsah: .....Christmas

MartinGA: Great

Sandie129: Red as the rosebud cheeks of a carefree child.

MartinGA: Wonderful

LynColeman: as the hot sun descending on the desert.

MartinGA: Wonderful!

MartinGA: Now let's try another word like "heavy: Heavy as a ton of bricks is too common. Heavy as?

JansEMail: Heavy as the fog surrounding the cabin.

MartinGA: Good

Tirtsah: That was good Jan!!!!!!!

JansEMail: LOL, thanks...

MartinGA: Jan reminded me of something

JansEMail: ohoh...

MartinGA: You want to do the comparison to enhance your mood, If it's a frightening setting - her example of the fog is great. But you want to capture the mood by the comparisons that you select.

Amccumbr2: Heavy as a knights armor covered with concrete.

Sandie129: Heavy as the stone sinking to the pit of her soul.

MartinGA: Good. Great

MartinGA: This really enhances your writing.

Tirtsah: LOL Alice.......

JansEMail: heavy as the whipped cream she dalloped on the strawberries....

MartinGA: You're making me hungry! And we have brownies

Tirtsah: Me too! <G>

Rdpelleg: can use another word instead of heavy?

MartinGA: Sure, try your own - something that works with the novel you're working on now.

JansEMail: Yeah, I'm getting depressed, LOL

Rdpelleg: The weight of emotion send her heart to her throat. No no forget it, that was dumb.

MartinGA: the only problem with the weight of emotion it sent her heart up instead of down. It works if you say The weight of emotion sent her heart to her toes. You just headed in the wrong direction. <<GG>> ga. Anyway - getting back to my call from Love Inspired, one of the things that both Patience Smith and Tracey Farrell loved was the use of a motif - throughout my novel

MartinGA: I use the motif of music and many of the smiles and metaphors use music elements: Her heart waltzed through her. I should say inside her - making these up now. Her mind slowed to a dirge. You get the point.

MartinGA: One thing that I do is use my themes as I said. In The Desire of Her Heart my hero works in a garage. So I use things like ' his pulsed revved Her thoughts flattened like an old tire. His spirit accelerated. Those things work very well in a novel to bring a kind of unity to the story. Again, don't overdo it.

MartinGA: I'm sure some of you can think of things you've done in your writing similar to this Do we have time for an extended metaphor?

jansEMail: Yes!

MartinGA: or does anyone want to share a thought?

JansEMail: !

JansEMail: You've opened up a world of new possibilities for me! Thanks!

MartinGA: You're welcome. I'm a poet at heart and it just creeps into my writing.

MartinGA: Okay. Quickly - I'll give you the metaphor. My hero has a child who stopped speaking after her mother died and the heroine comes to the home (a nurse) to work with the child. This scene is early in the story. Hero comes home from work and notices footprints in the snow - this scene follows:

Trance-like, he followed the prints that wove through the evergreens and around the elms. In an open area, he paused. Oh the ground, he stared at imprints of angels. Heads. Wings. and bodies pressed into the pristine snow. But, sadly, all adult angels. No seraphim or cherubim. No Nattie.

He looked again at the fanned angel impression at this feet. He pictured the young woman, flinging herself to the ground, flailing her arms and legs to amuse his silent child. Callie's laughter rang in his mind. Angel? Yes, perhaps God had sent a human angel to watch over his daughter.

MartinGA: I hope you see how the metaphor works.

Tirtsah: Wow! this has been wonderful........

JansEMail: absolutely! Great stuff Gail!

Sandie129: As always.

MartinGA: Thanks. Hope it works for you all.

SALLYLAITY: Heaps of handy helpful hints...!

MartinGA: I hope that you can all think about how you can use a few of these elements to enhance your writing.

JansEMail: Thank you, Gail! Wonderful workshop!

MartinGA: And buy my novel!!!! UPON A MIDNIGHT CLEAR - LOVE INSPIRED FALL 2000

Tirtsah: This has been wonderful. The time just flew by!

JansEMail: Can we buy direct from you to get autographed copy or would you prefer we buy in stores?

MartinGA: I have the novels from Heartsong - but I won't for L.I.

JansEMail: Okey dokey!

MartinGA: They're only in stores - but I can sign them when I see you at national.

JansEMail: that's a deal!

Tirtsah: Lord, thankyou for such a wonderful workshop, and wonderful fellowship. Please be with each one of us in our needs this coming week. In your heavenly name we lift our personal concerns into your hands. Amen