Creating Good Hooks

AnnieM: I'd like to introduce a wonderful writer, who I greatly respect. Let's give a rousing welcome to Gail Martin.

* AnnieM leads the applause

Tracey: clap clap clap

Gail Martin: Hi everyone. Lynn asked me only a short time ago to fill in since she was minus a guest. So here I am. Thanks for the wild applause.

* AnnieM tosses confetti into the air

Gail Martin:  I'd like to tell you that I'm awed by God's goodness to me. I recently had my first LI novel Upon A Midnight Clear receive a Holt Medallion and then I learned that it's up for a National Readers' Choice. God is sooooo good.

* AnnieM leads the applause.

AnnieM: Congrats!

Susette: CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!

Gail Martin: Thanks - but I just want you all to know that this can happen to you!!!!!   Study, read, write and write and write.

Anyway, let's get started.

Today's readers want compelling, fast-paced, action-packed stories.  They want ACTION. Sol Stein in his On Writing book says that today's readers are bored with narrative summary and lots of backstory. They are not willing to plow through long descriptions and meaningless chitchat. They want show and not tell.  They want action!

Just as a fisherman uses different bait and lures to catch a specific fish, novels have varied types of hooks.  Two specifically --  opening and end chapter/page-turner hooks. Let's look at opening hooks.

In the first few paragraphs the author wants to arouse curiosity create intrigue and formulate puzzles and cause questions. The basic he leaves with the reader is WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN NOW!!!

Think about these opening lines:

1. He couldn't sleep that night.

2. Before she lost her sight, life was different.

3. From the moment she stepped off the bus, Jane knew what she had to do.

4. By the time Ralph telephoned, Rose knew it was too late.

5. From John O'Hara's The Informant - Yank Lucas fell asleep late one night and left the gas burning on the kitchen range.

Gail Martin: These are all novel openings.  What do they have in common.  Jump right in. Can you find commonalities?

MaryLynn: They don't tell the whole story.

Gail Martin: Correct.

Christine_L: They all put you in the middle of the action

Gail Martin: Action - correct.

MaryLynn: And...they seem to be telling or stating a fact. What about showing? Does that take too long for a first line?

Gail Martin: Dialogue is good for showing. These openings leave us with questions. Just look at each one and see what you are left wondering.

Susette: They grab your attention by planting a question in your mind. And make you want to find out the answer.

Gail Martin: Great.  That's it.  Now think of your own work and ask yourself. Are you doing this? Do you open and make a reader wonder?
Sometimes we can't do it as dramatically as these sentences, but within a couple of minutes of your opening, you need to leave your reader wondering. Not everything is like the old Mission Impossible - in 5 seconds this tape will destruct. But we must be tuned in to our openings and make our readers curious, interested, puzzled, intrigued.  Even in a romance this is needed.

Let's look at this opening from my next LI - Secrets of the Heart.
Kate Davis jerked her head, pulling her gaze from the delicate anthill growing at the base of the glider swing. With a wry chuckle, she rolled her eyes.  "I can't believe I'm sitting here watching ants have more fun than I am."

Okay - now this isn't dramatic.  But what can you see in this opening? What questions?

LynetteS: WHY are the ants having more fun? LOL

Gail Martin: Right!

AnnieM: Why is she staring at ants?

Gail Martin: Right.

KiwiElle: She's bored and doesn't want to be, and I wonder why.

Gail Martin: Okay - and does it hint that something is about to happen?
I hope so.

Listen to this one - This is from my very first Silhouette Romance out in September.

"Not according to plan," Kathryn Palmer muttered. She gritted her teeth and looked into the distance at the medium-blue pickup sitting in her driveway - - a sure signal that she was late for her appointment. Being late was Kathryn's pet peeve, along with traffic jams ....which is why she was late in the first place.

Now - what do you learn from these lines?

AnnieM: She's not the most patient person in the world.

Gail Martin: Exactly!!!

LynetteS: Kathryn likes things on schedule.

Gail Martin: Yes

Susette: Someone is meeting her at her house, and she broke her number one rule: don't be late.

AnnieM: She is a perfectionist.

Gail Martin: Correct - and we wonder who it might be.  Perfectionist is totally correct and this is her problem - the man in the pickup isn't! This leads to a lot of fun and humor in this story.

AnnieM: lol, gotta love it!

Susette: She feels she is setting a bad example if she can't live by her own code

Gail Martin: Okay - opening hooks are vital - so let's remember  some basic rules: Open with action - dialogue is good. Open at the point of action and change - a day that's different, arrival of a new character, awareness of a new problem. Open leaving the reader - curious, puzzled or intrigued. Open leaving the reader asking questions. Open with the reader wanting to know WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN NOW!!!

Harder is to keep your story a page-turner. Let's look at some things that you can do. First you need compelling characters, people that the reader like or hate right from the beginning, unique settings, a driving plot with lots of action, strong conflict (and I can't say that enough, and real emotion. Don't tell the emotion - SHOW the emotion.

Plotting can help too. First you can use the Time-bomb method. What's that you say? It's an explosive situation, time is running out - the reader knows something that the H & H don't, or that one knows and the other doesn't.

Next - use the Jack in the Box method. That has to do with hints and foreshadowing.  Just like a Jack in the Box - you hear the music and know eventually that little dummy is going to pop out. I love this and use I a lot in my writing.

Look at this. It's from the first example I gave - Kate and the ants.
She goes in the house ready to get her roommate to do something exciting and her friend's brother appears on the scene. They've never met - but when she sees him she has a reaction.  This occurs on one of the first page and it's introspection.

What had caused her to sink into an abyss of miserable memories? The answer hit her before the question left her mind. Scott's build. Not his near six foot stature, but his broad, square frame like a football player. Thick neck, powerful chest, strong muscular legs, and bulging arms she saw wrapped around Phyllis. She cringed with her recollection.

I hope this causes you to ask questions. I hope you wonder why? I hope that you are curious who this memory refers to and why it's so horrible. Any other thoughts on this one?

MaryLynn: She's been abused by a big, strong guy?

AnnieM: I find it important to make sure I put my characters in awkward situations and let them find their way out of them.

Gail Martin: Good thought! I like that.

AnnieM: It ain't pretty, but it makes great story material

Gail Martin: Right - and if this is the hero - how will this effect their budding romance when it happens. Okay - let's look at the next couple of ideas. Next you can alter the set. This means move things around in a room, make things look different so the reader wonders why.
This works for a mystery especially.

Finally - False scares. Set up tension in many ways - this is used in movies all the time. dark house, noise, rapist in the area.

Listen to this example from my 3rd LI - which is a mystery romance
A LOVE FOR SAFEKEEPING.

When she straightened, a shadow covered her as a hand grabbed her arm.  Her scream froze in her throat and her knees buckled when a stick rose above her head.

Now - you must know that the heroine is in a dark school building searching for something she left behind and she's scared because she knows she's being followed. On with the story -

"No," she yelled, grabbing the desk for support. The hand released her.  "Wh-what are you d-doing here?" The shadowy figure stumbled backward.
Though she recognized her assailant, her body didn't recover as quickly.

Hopefully this will scare the reader.  These techniques are great ways to end your chapters. Please don't always end at the ending - end a chapter in the middle of the excitement

You know that readers like to stop reading at the end of a chapter and if the story is so exciting, they turn the page and don't realize they've move on to a new one. This is what we call a page-turner.

Here's an example: The same story as above.  She senses that she's being followed on a dark night from the library to her car parked at the school. When she nears her car, she runs. With her uncontrolled momentum, she thudded against the car door. In the faint light, she groped along the cold metal and grasped the door handle as shadow fell across her arm. A hand clamped down on her shoulder. A scream tore from her throat. End of chapter.

I hope you see that this is an excellent way to get a reader to turn the page. Now you can't do this on every chapter.  I think the reader would get irritated, but it is a great technique to use part of the time.  The examples don't even have to be as dramatic.

Perhaps the hero walks into the room and says, "I have to talk with you. It's serious." End chapter.

Gail Martin: You see, if you're caught up in the story you'll turn the page. Other writing techniques - and then I'll open for question. Start and end each chapter with action or a vital piece of information or thoughtful questions. Avoid long narrative descriptions of setting or physical qualities.  Learn to carry some scenes over to the next chapter.

2. In the first chapter and throughout - avoid heavy backstory.  Use the information only as needed in small pieces. Leave questions unanswered until later in the story - a surprise for the reader. But hint at the problems.

3. Keep some secrets - and don't give details until necessary.

4. Show not tell - keep story action packed with active writing.

5. In a mystery or suspense, have plenty of probable and realistic suspects who appear in the story.

6. Avoid redundancy in information.

7. Avoid repetition of words and phrases - same sentence structure. Think variety.

8. Don't over-describe secondary characters.

9. Use humor - if you have the ability.

10. Use active words to show moods and actions.

11. And the ultimate  important question.  After every scene ask yourself one question! How does this scene move the plot forward? What has the reader learned that is new and important?

Okay time for questions.

AnnieM: Pacing is important. It's also important to set up a false sense of security, that way when something happens, it catches them off guard.

Gail Martin: Correct - that's part of the jack in the box idea.
Can you hear the reader screaming - don't go into the room!!!!!

AnnieM: could you explain the show verses telling aspect of emotions?

Gail Martin: I'm not sure I'm clear on what you want. Try me again.

AnnieM: How can a writer effectively show a character's emotions as opposed to saying, she was upset?

Gail Martin: Oh sure. Let's do some. If she's fearful - give me some physical actions that will happen. Everyone pitch in.

Gail Martin: Her palms will sweat

AnnieM: Her hands tremble.

Gail Martin: yes

MaryLynn: Chill down her spine.

Gail Martin: more. Yes.

AnnieM: A lump in her throat

Gail Martin: Her stomach knots

AnnieM: feels nauseated

Gail Martin: Try to use original things too - not trite sayings.  Yes.

LynetteS: pulse pounding

KiwiElle: Her heart pounds

Gail Martin: Yes

Joyfulbee: Glances over her shoulder in terror

Gail Martin: Good

AnnieM: Fidgets with her keys

Gail Martin: Fidgets is good. Anne - you can do that also by using metaphors. She felt like a kitten who climbed the tree and can't figure how to get down. That type of thing.  Those work well in trying to express emotion without saying it. Any other questions?

Aisha: Gail, do you think there is a difference in writing a hook for a full length novel vs. a novella? Besides the fact that it has to be shorter?

Gail Martin: Absolutely. The story and conflict must be simpler; less characters and less subplots. The story must move faster. Use transitions to move time. After three weeks of waiting, he called her.
That kind of thing. Those things are very important for a novella.

Aisha: Okay...thanks so much!!

Gail Martin: Another tip is to have your H & H know each other from the past - even vaguely. That works well because then the romance can advance more quickly.

LynetteS: How do you let people know where/when the action is happening without slowing the pace at the VERY beginning of a story? I mean, how do you include descriptions/setting in without slowing down--and still be clear to the reader?

Gail Martin: I always tie my descriptions (or usually) with the characters mood. In other words, Kate looked at the lilac tree in her back yard.  It was fresh and lovely. She wished she felt that way. It was spring and her life was going nowhere. See how that works?

LynetteS: yes, thanks

Gail Martin: That's an excellent way.

Susette: What about her physical description. Is it okay to describe her. Like, slim manicured fingers gripped the steering wheel. In order to tell a little about her.

Gail Martin: Only if it's coming from another ones description. A guy might look at her and say that. But the POV characater shouldn't say it about her/himself.

Susette: Sorry, was discussing physical descriptions with only one character present.

Gail Martin: I wouldn't do that unless you want to initiate the omniscient POV which isn't popular. She might comment in her internal thought that her hands looked too large to fit in the glove. or something like that - but too much sounds like a new writer.


AnnieM: She could comment that she wasn't happy with her latest manicure.

LColeman: or how they are looking more like her mothers <G>

Gail Martin: Yes that would work. In fact, I was just finishing a proposal that had manicured nails in it. The hero said he didn't believe that she'd ever done something and she asked why he would say that? He looks down at her nails and she realizes that her well-manicured fingernails are a give away. (hope that makes sense)

Susette: Yes, thanks

Gail Martin: Time is drifting - any more questions before we say goodnight?

AnnieM: Gail, thank you so much for teaching us about hooks tonight.

Deb: Thanks so much, Gail.

Susette: Thanks Gail!!!

Gail Martin: You're very welcome I hope it helps a bit.

Aisha: Thanks so much, Gail!

Gail Martin: As always it's fun.

MaryLynn: Thanks!!!

Christine_L: It helped a bunch! Thanks!

LynetteS: Thanks Gail! This is a very timely chat!

Gail Martin: Great!

LColeman: Thanks Gail, sorry I couldn't be here at the start.

Gail Martin: That's okay Lynn. We did good.

Susette: Great job Gail!!!

KiwiElle: Thanks Gail, it's been a great help and encouragement :)

Gail Martin: You're welcome!